Post HL Blues...

[PaigeIIB]

Posting on Sara's 2 year Clean Scan Anniv, made me think of a few posts that I read last night in the NHL forum. I was thinking about it, thought I'd post here to get everyone's feedback. Many of us aren't "there" yet but, for the ones that are...

Not that anyone would ever want to remain ill; a couple of posts I came across last night spoke of not knowing what to do with themselves once they had reached remission, or their family members had reached remission. I'm paraphrasing here but, I could see that. A diagnosis of cancer is such a life altering occurance, it has taken up so much of my time. I could see being at a loss for what to do with myself after. Once my schedule calmed down a little, my Mom even mentioned feeling "lost." She was coming up every day almost when the biopsies were happening and the port, etc... We didn't get that much time together prior to, about 1-2 times every 2 weeks. One lady likened it to baby blues, she got to see her son a lot when he was ill, now he was off at college. And, although she was thrilled that her son was well again, she missed him terribly.

Anyone experience this? Any tips on what one can do to prepare for the shock of one day being well again?

Paige

[BeanieRN]

Paige...good post.

I am almost (almost) as scared for my remission "afterlife" as I would be for relapse. Weird, I know.

don't know what I will do with myself.

[Chemopalooza]

One thing I notice about myself is that when I see people, I hardly have anything to talk about EXCEPT cancer, and I don't want to be that chick that talks about cancer all the time. Hopefully I'll get more to talk about once chemo is over, but that's one of the annoying things I'm noticing these days.

[chemocranky]

I, for one, hit a HUGE emotional wall of rage about three weeks after my last chemo tx. I just wanted to be done with treatment so much, and then didn't know what to do with myself once I was done...the battle was over, and everyone, including myself, wanted me to just be "normal" again. My advice is this: be good to yourself, try to be patient with your capabilities and how quickly you "bounce back", don't make any sudden big life-altering decisions until you get your head wrapped around actually being healthy again, and don't be afraid to seek out the help of a counselor (and some medicinal help if you need it). Oh yeah, and don't forget to celebrate yourself for the long hard fight you fought!

[Michie]

Great post and thanks for the advice Skye - this is one thing I am starting to get worried about (I am ending in a month) - cancer treatment has become my new normal almost.

[Junehb]

June and I will get married in the coming November and we have just rented a new place. We need to move on and not living in the shadow the disease. I told myself my purpose of life is to make other people happy, especially June.

[LAULAUSMAMMA]

Hey stranger - you hadn't posted in so long I couldn't find a post to get your fiancee's name (sorry but couldn't remember it) to include on the luminaria bag/poster I made for our recent Relay for Life (see the RFL thread for pics). Did want you to know I was thinking about you both. Glad to see June is doing so well ...especially after all the uncertainty a few months ago. Be sure to post some pics.

[Junehb]

So you know how good is the life after Hodgkin's. Now I surf over Ebay more than ever. Sure we will post some happy pics later. But until she has got back to having long hair.
Once again, for those who are still on the road of finishing treatment, don't think that the people who has been absent for a long time has died. But on the other hand, we are enjoying our lives more than ever. Do enjoy every second gifted from god.
Cheers.

[attackmonkey]

Good question! I finished treatment back in december, and I STILL haven't got my head straight yet. I went back to work almost straightaway, 'cos I was sick of just being stuck in the house all the time feeling like sh*t. I think that's helped me a lot, at least in terms of not being hermit boy any more and getting back into the routine of dealing with people.

But the wierd thing is, I don't think I'm actually all that happy. I keep getting wierd mood swings, silly stuff gets me really upset, and I have to restrain myself from verbally tearing a new one out of several friends who always just seem to complain about how sh*tty their lives are when in actual fact their lives are sooooo easily fixable its laughable, but they just like having something to moan about. I've even found myself seriously considering ditching my entire life, girlfriend, the lot, and just buggering off. I can't work out if it's just the aftereffects of the chemo/treatment or whether it's just amplified stuff that was there already that I was ignoring. It bothers me that I managed to fight through a serious illness but don't seem to be able to sort my head out at the end of it all. I've got about 6 weeks left on my current contract, then I think I'm going to have to site down and work this one out!

[BioProf]

The big thing with recovery is that we want to finish treatment and be immediately back to our old selves. Number one, treatment really ravage your body and mind and the physical recovery is slow. Give yourself time and don't feel disappointed when you still feel some side effects after 6 months. Number two, you don't go back, you go forward. You live with scan anxiety and fears of relapse and a sense that you've changed, even if you're not sure explicitly how. there are may coping strategies and everyone needs to find what works best for them. Some disappear from the Board and try to ignore this as much as possible. Some lunatics ride their bikes over hill and dale. Some seek some professional help and others turn to God. Nothing works for everyone though. There's a buffet of options and you can keep going back to try to find one you like.
Steve