The Dumb Things People Say

[Chemopalooza]

I thought it was time to start a post on the dumb things people say to us during our treatments as I recently heard a pretty stupid comment...

As most you all, my hair is falling out, but I haven't shaved it and I wear it chin length and deal with the clumps. People were asking me about it the other day and I said a lot falls out when I shower, but I have a lot to lose. I was then told... to get hair extensions!!! When I tried to explain that you can't clip hair pieces on hair that is falling out I was told no no they either braid it right into your hair or use wig clips -- she couldn't understand that nothing sticks to hair that is falling out!

Thats my rant... it was pretty dumb, but also entertaining. Feel free to add to it!

[attackmonkey]

I had a couple of folks who thought chemo made you radioactive. I had to point out several times that RADIATION makes you radioactive, chemo just makes you toxic.......

:P

[laurie210]

Im not very close with my grandmother at all, but anyways she was over on Easter and she walked in and looked at me and said "wow, you have put some weight on".... oh it pissed me off so much. i then had to explain that its good to gain weight during treatments and its from the steroids that i have to have. then she continued to call Chemo my shots, like or example.... "when is your next shots" lol it just irrates me cuz i wish they were just "shots" but its not. and please dont feel sorry for her, her and i do not have a positive relationship and she likes to make comments to "fire" things up..... some people i swear....

[cpcandy32]

I've got a great one. I'm sure she didn't mean to say it this way, but it did come off bad. My co-workers wife was in to the office one day and I was in the kitchen getting water. I came out and she asked me how I was feeling and all that jazz. Then she says, "You know, I've often thought that my life was rough, (she was recently unemployed)but then I look at you and I know my life is so much better". I just kinda laughed and walked away......so stupid!

[Rachael42]

Almost everyone says, "you are the strongest person i know. If anyone can beat it, you can."

I hate this on so many levels. Yes, i have dealt with alot in my life with courage and grace but cancer does not care about my "attitude." And mostly i feel like it comforts them, not me. Like it keeps them from feeling the tragedy of the whole damn thing.

Maybe this isn't "stupid" but more unthinking. (I am an attorney, i am allowed to make such linguistic distinctions. Hell, i get paid for it!)

[Faith143]

Well, When I was diagnosed, I had to quit my job and give up my place to move back home with my mother. (A disaster waiting to happen.... me and my 2 kids and her and her husband in a small 2 bedroom) As we all know with chemo we have our good days and bad.... Well one day I was feeling so incrediably bad and stayed in bed most of the day... My mother was ok with that and understood... My kids were of course giving her a hard time..(3 and a newborn at the time) and my stepfather comes home and comes in the room yelling at me to "get my lazy a$$ up and help with the kids!" Needless to say I can not stand that man till this day!

Tiff

[jam]

"So, John, let me get this straight - you have Hodgkin's Disease and they're giving you chemotherapy? I thought they only gave chemo for cancer?"

Yup.

Here's another. My oncologist's nurse was on the phone with a nurse (remember that part) from my insurance company trying to explain why it was necessary for me to have a PET/CT done after I had a biopsy, but before ever even seeing my oncologist. The "nurse" at the insurance company asked what the results of the biopsy were and my onc's nurse said, "Hodgkin's Lymphoma". The other nurse actually said back, "Is that all?" I thought my onc's nurse was going to jump through the phone and kick some butt. It was shocking and amusing all at the same time.

[Pigboy]

The endless supply of well wishers who feel the need to tell me of all those they know who died from doing exactly what we are doing at the moment, while I envision a size 13 suppository in their arse.

[Rachael42]

Tiff,

I cannot believe you had a child during chemo (and lived through the enviromental stressors). I am such a huge fan of your courage.

[kristna]

One dumb comment I recieved (that I haven't already shared) was from a girl that I went to school with. I hadn't seen her in several years but I ran into her when I had just started chemo. My hair was REALLY short and I have always been known for my long curly hair, so she asked me what was going on. I told her that I had been diagnosed with cancer and had started chemo. And then she says "Oh, yeah well I know how that feels. I had a benign cyst removed recently. So trust me, I know how you feel." I think I just gave her a blank stare, said bye, and walked away.

Sadly, I have heard so many dumb comments that I can't even remember them all. I also have a perfectly healthy aunt that is now conviced she has hodgkins as well. I continue to recieve dumb comments from her even this far out from treatment.