caregivers - how do you cope?

[kady]

As Kathryn mentioned in an earlier post...."When 4 girls are sitting around stressing about what color ribbon to put on the party favors for their weddings...actually stressing....I just keep thinking 'I WISH that was my biggest problem.' *sigh*"

Having a life threatening illness as well as being a caregiver really puts things into perspective...we all have probably heard that...but it's oh so true....I was standing in line the other day and a lady in front of me was complaining how it has taken over 5 minutes to get her coffee...I had to speak up and politely say "you know..there are other things in life more upsetting that waiting for some coffee"..."Save your energy for them"....

As a caregiver Kathryn of a young adult..my son..everything you have mentioned he has also said in some fashion.....everyone is moving on with their lives, while he is stuck recovering from lymphoma treatment...life is not fair..he didn't deserve this illness...he has said it all...

I try and focus what I can control...getting him to the doctor...go to appointments/scans with him...encourage him..feed him well..provide an environment in which he can recover.. and so on..

Take care and wishing only the best for the both of you,
Kady

[Odie]

Breathe! Sometimes you take it day by day, sometimes hour by hour, sometimes minute by minute, and sometimes it feels like second by second. No one and I mean NO ONE gets in line for this, either the patient or the caregiver. It's so hard to watch your loved one suffer. Ben says all we do is the "doctor dance". It's been one doctor after another after another as he's had alot of complications. Journaling might help if you like to write. I don't like to burden our girls (28 and 24) with the constant struggle and I'm with Ben 24/7 as he really isn't up to being on his own. If you can get a little "me" time, grab it! Ben and I have found that we really enjoy listening to audio books together, which is a nice change from television or doing separate things on the computer.

Try to keep a positive attitude and keep breathing!

Hugs...

Laurie

[thereeds]

Welcome Kathryn,
You're right- it's hard. I wish I could say that it gets easier, but instead I'll say that you both will find strength you never knew you had.
My husband, Mike, relapsed in October 2000, just a few months after we started dating. Here we are almost 10 years later, and he's still fighting cancer. We got married in 2004, and we had a little boy last year. Mike's 31 years old now, and I'm 30. I would have never guessed 10 years ago that we'd still be dealing with cancer, but I'm sure most doctors would say Mike should not be here today.
We were saying today that as much as we hate dealing with cancer, it has probably strengthened our marriage. We don't argue over most of the things other couples fight over, because we know none of that small stuff really matters.
We try not to let cancer control our lives {sometimes easier said than done!} I think keeping busy helps a lot, and it's always good to have hobbies and "outlets" that keep your mind off cancer.
We pray, and we have a great support system of friends and family.
You're right- it's not fair. I struggled a lot with that a few years ago, and I still worry more than I should. I'm sorry you and your boyfriend are dealing with this. Please feel free to message me if I can help you with anything.
April